Living in flow is a different way to think about your problems.

Just read back again through a section in “The Coaching Habit”, where it talks about how problems are defined and experienced in relationship to us. If we are having a problem with another person, we realize that if this pattern keeps showing up for us and keeps triggering us emotionally in this way, that we are part of the equation. We are part of the energetic zipper that locks both of our behaviors in place. I keep acting/reacting this way and they keep acting/reacting that way.

And life then feels more interesting to play with MY part of the problem – because we actually have influence there. What do i need to learn here? WHY does this bother me quite as much as it does?

I’ve tried this out at least handfuls of times in the past few years, and I find that whatever the behavior that i find so triggering, that prb 80% of the fatigue and exhaustion is my layers on top of the reality. So i can choose to be 80% less miserable. And that’s okay. Let go of perfection. you’d be surprised how good 80% feels like… especially when it’s done across the board …. filling up across the fabric your life.

That I can drop the my-resistance-part-of-the-equation.

And suffer less. And not need reality to change.

So it’s already a win (but then I find that what they say follows ALSO seems to be true – that then, the situation also will evolve. The situation will change, in time, once you stop your anti-attachment to it. Once you stop your resistance. Emotionally. Energetically. (It changes as a bi-product of your change, it must, because your energy has changed. But it can’t until you release control of the outcome, otherwise you’re still energetically attached and the pattern is locked in place.)

And it is crazy cool that life seems to be like this! Like, what a more-fun Game than the one I was playing! I don’t have to stay vigil so often, for what could go wrong, or for missed opportunities. Who knew I didn’t have to live like that, being so critical and judgmental and limiting on myself. (and yes, it still sneaks back continuously, but I have better tools (koga, mostly) that shift me back out of that collapsed state).

Because when I’m not collapsed, life just FEELS so …. abundant.

I never knew what abundance *felt* like, i just knew its definition. It’s a good feeling that is hard to describe. I’m learning I can stay there longer, it is safe to stay there longer. It feels like what I figure joy is supposed to feel like.

And it comes from peeling the Belief Onion. Peeling back the layers of your rules and beliefs, asking if they serve you for what your life is today, asking if they are even necessary to protect you anymore for what your life is today. Unpeeling the things you don’t want to see about yourself, the things you don’t allow into your identity, and the things you are afraid of letting go but that aren’t you anymore.

And it’s fascinating stuff. Our minds are fascinating. And apparently doing quantum physics and actually creating the world around us (If you believe in quantum physics). So, cool stuff to invest your time in 😉 imo.